He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
