I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
