if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
