sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
