i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
