Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
