apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
