well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
