How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
