Me. At least after what I've been through.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
