It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
