Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
