You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
