This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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