He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
