im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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