I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
