you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
