we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
