i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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