Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
