I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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