"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
