Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
there was a trapeze. enough said
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He felt like a one man threesome
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
