I didn't shave. On purpose
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
