I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
