You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
