that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
