You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
