Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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