dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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