She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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