oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
