Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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