I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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