it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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