i think i have two assholes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
