Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
