Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
