He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
