I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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