i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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