But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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