i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
