Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
