$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
