I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Girls should come with a carfax report
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
