Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
