if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
