Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
